79th Annual Academy Awards - Oscar Picks by Reviews by Matthew

Holy Shit! The Oscars are Sunday and I'm in a panic. My computer crashed yesterday taking half of this write up with it. Damnit! So be prepared for a quick (well maybe) error filled entry. I had to borrow my neice's laptop just to get this damn thing finished and most of you won't even see it till Monday. Anyway, if you get it intime you can follow along with me in this book. You will know it is time to turn the page when you hear the chime ring like this:

PICTURE – Well, well, well. Ensembles pictures seem to be the course to follow. With that "The Queen" is out. "Babel" sucked, yo so no gold. "Letters From Iwo Jima" was not better than "Flags of Our Fathers" and that film sucked. Besides Clint won for the far better "Million Dollar Baby" just 2 years ago. He can miss another year and maybe come up with something better. I know he's got it in him. The real race is between "Little Miss Sunshine" and "The Departed". Comedies never win this catergory. The closest thing to a comedy ever winning here was "Shakespear In Love" and that was far superior to "Little Miss Sunshine". But it's so cute. Not cute enough for Oscar. The winner this year will be "The Departed". Martin Scorsese's Irish mob hit is my kinda "Goodfellas" and Marty's long over due for Academy recognition.

DIRECTOR – I'm not gonna waste your time with all of the names involved this year. I'm just gonna say Martin Scorsese. Win big little man.

ACTOR – Peter O' Toole and Ryan Gosling are out. Although I heard Ryan's performance in "Half Nelson" was fantastic; I have the movie downstairs, I'll have to watch it and find out. Leonardo DiCaprio was rightly nominated for his role in "Blood Diamond". It was a better performance than his role in "The Departed" if only because he had so much more to do. This guy can act, don't be fooled, it's just not his year. He's been nominated 3 or 4 times and Oscar will swing his way one day, just not Sunday. The race is between Will Smith "The Pursuit of Happyness" and Forest Whitaker "The Last King of Scotland". Now who doesn't love Will Smith? Everybody does but Forest Whitaker knocked em dead. He's won every major award this season and it won't stop until he's holding Oscar Gold. I hope he's got a better speech prepared than he had for the Golden Globes.

ACTRESS – Penelope Cruz? Unh-uh. Dame Judi Dench? Not English enough this year. Kate Winslet? How about the DiCaprio curse. Meryl Streep? 14 friggin' nominations and only 2 wins; try again next year. Helen Mirren put the English on cause "You're going to Hollywood!" Helen Mirren wins for "The Queen".

SUPPORTING ACTOR – I like the winner this year. I never heard of Jackie Earle Haley. I heard of "Little Children" but didn't get to see it. Djimon Hounsou played a role he's played before in "Blood Diamond" so no win there. Mark Wahlberg got the nod for "The Departed" but it could have been anyone of them, Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, Matt Damon, I could go on, but he won't win. Alan Arkin has a shot as the heroin addicted pervert of a grandfater in "Little Miss Sunshine" but everyone seems to like Eddie Murphy and his performance as the James Brown-ish guy in "Dreamgirls". That Ed, he sure is funny. "Very funny muthafucka, where's my Oscar at?"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS – Adriana Barraza and Cate Blanchett are the easy outs. Abigail Breslin danced he ass off in "Little Miss Sunshine" but not enough to get Oscar gold. Rinko Kikuchi fucking ROCKED "Babel". She's really the only reason to see the film and she's worth every penny you'd pay to see it. But Oscar seems to be leaning towards Jennifer Hudson from "Dreamgirls". I'll role the American Idol (Is she really from that show?), Go Jennifer!

ANIMATED FEATURE - "Monster House" can't compete with the environmentally conscious "Happy Feet" and as I understand it "Happy Feet" can't compare with the "Anie" (It's an animation award) winner "Cars". It seems that every "Anie" winner has gone on to win the Oscar since this category was first introduced so who am I to buck that trend.

SCREENPLAY ORIGINAL – This one seems easy enough this year. "Babel" and "Letters From Iwo Jima" are out. "Pan's Labyrinth" and "The Queen" pale in the light of "Little Miss Sunshine" This will be the film's only reward.

SCREENPLAY ADAPTED – A tougher category. "Children of Men", "Little Children", and "Notes On A Scandal" are the waek links. "The Departed" is fantastic and if I lose this category to it I won't be upset. It's just that the F.A.G.s (does anyone get that joke?) in Hollywood will most likely honor the supposedly funny "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan". Yea F.A.G.s.

ORIGINAL SCORE –This is usually a sticky category for me and this year is no exception. I'm gonna do away with Thomas Newman "The Good German" and Philip Glass "Notes On A Scandal". I think they're both past winners but I better check those facts. "Babel" sucked so bad that Gustavo Santaolalla has as good a chance as any to win here. Javier Navarrete "Pan's Labyrinth" maybe but I'm gonna go with Alexandre Desplat "The Queen" for no other reason than that. The film could use another Oscar so here's a good throwaway.

ORIGINAL SONG – I get fucked here every year. I'm kinda over it yo but this year will see no lax or lube for me. I'm expecting "Dreamgirls" to win this category, I mean it's the Musical, duh, but it's got 3 freaking songs to choose from. I have no access to iTunes so I can't even hear a clip of each, how am I supposed to pick one? Randy Newman "Cars" could win but everyone's favorite (mine too) lesbian (not that that matters) Melissa Ethridge is nominated with I Need To Wake Up "An Inconvient Truth". Why not pick her? I mean it, Why not? So Go Girl!

PRODUCTION DESIGN / ART DIRECTION – I can't go with "The Good German" or "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest". "The Prestige" I don't know but "Pan's Labyrinth" seems like a good idea yet I'm feeling "Dreamgirls". Not really sure why? But let's move along, again with the Go Girls. I'm gonna lose this one, I can feel it.

CINEMATOGRAPHY – Oh Lord. "The Illusionist"? Are you serious? "The Black Dahlia" and "Children of Men"? Maybe "Children of Men" but "The Prestige"? How the hell should I know? I'm just rolling with "Pan's Labyrinth". Not the greatest film but man was that forest pretty.

COSTUME – "Long Suffer the Queens." as "The Queen" and "Marie Antoinette" fall by the wayside. "Dreamgirls" can't compare to the lavish "Curse of the Golden Flower" and by all rights should be the winner however, "The Devil Wears Prada" employed Hollywood's favorite Patricia Field who's been dressing the whole city for 30 years. I think she, rather than the film gets the Oscar. Fashion is Passion, right?

MAKEUP – I can't go with "Click" and I'm just not seeing "Pan's Labyrinth" offering anything as fantastic as "Apocalypto"'s Aztec/Mayan hu-bu-loo. A fucking kick in the ass to look at.

FILM EDITING – "Babel", "Blood Diamond", and "Children of Men" all pale in comparison to "The Departed" and "Flight 93". Thelma Schoonmaker did a fantastic job with "The Departed" but I'm feeling a little nostalgic for Clare Douglas and the brilliantly edited "Flight 93". Although it was not a great movie, it's editing was phenomonal. "I'll get some beer, sit at home, and stare at my Clare Douglas poster. (I'm funny...No really I am.)

VISUAL EFFECTS – This should be easy gold. I'm gonna step right over "Poseidon" and "Superman Returns" in favor for the collossal, in every sense of the word, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Simply the best money can buy.

SOUND EDITING – I could go on in this category this year but it's going to come down to Clint's 2 war movies: "Flags of Our Fathers" and "Letters From Iwo Jima". People seemed to like "Letters From Iwo Jima" better, a lot better, so it's really not such a tough decision.

SOUND MIXING – Sound Mixing on the other hand offers all the nominees of Sound Editing but one. They replaced "Letters From Iwo Jima" with "Dreamgirls". Oh really? Well hell yea and who wouldn't give a sound mixing Oscar to a musical. Certainly no one I know. "Dreamgirls" wins, easily.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM – Now we're getting to the end and the picks become more of a crap shoot. I was sure that it would be "Pan's Labyrinth" untill I saw it, now I'm hearing that Canada's "Water" is a viable substitue. I've got no clue as to the other nominees but I gotta go with the better bet of the 2 and that's "Pan's Labyrinth". May the faun be with me.

BEST DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE) – This category I don't always pick because I never see these films and they always give it to the Holocaust film, or so it seems, unless there's something noteworthy. And this year there is, "An Inconvient Truth" Al Gore's big show about Global Warming had the F.A.G.s and the rest of those concerned standing in the aisles. Why not bet on a sure thing?

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT – No pick.

BEST SHORT FILM - LIVE ACTION – No pick.

BEST SHORT FILM (ANIMATION) – No pick.

Wow, 21 picks this year. I can hardly believe it myself. I better win a few damnit and I've got to win a bunch just to break even. Ah, I've never been afraid of that, "Shoot High, Aim Low" right? Anyway have a great weekend. Enjoy the show if you're down with that and feel free to give me all the crap you want to about predictions. I love you all and thanks for reading this garbage in the first place. Follow below for the "-m-'s: Oscars At A Glance:".

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